One of my biggest fears is gaining weight. It’s always been drummed into my head by my dad that because I am so short, I can’t afford the extra weight on my frame. I have never been anorexic or bulimic but for a period of two years when I was 16-17, I only ate one meal a day. The one meal a day diet worked incredibly well for me in satisfying my appetite for food and remaining thin at the same time. I would eat around 5pm and eat anything I wanted and not eat again until the following day at 5pm. I gave that diet up when I went off to college and never went back on it due to work schedules.
Not that I am considering going back on it now as I know it is not sustainable for the long term. I also love food too much to eat only one meal a day. In all honestly my metabolism is on the fast side because I eat the same amount of food as my husband and am still well within the range of normal weight. But I am scared all the time that my appetite will get out of control. Sometimes for a week or even a month I just lose it and go on a food rampage. This usually happens in the winter. I am beginning to feel an oncoming one. For example this is what I ate today:
(1) 1 brownie & half cup of milk
(2) 24 ounces of beef tomato stew & a fried egg and pork floss sandwich
(3) 1 ear of sweet corn
(4) 48 ounces of beef tomato stew; 1 full bowl of rice with curry cauliflower, onions, peppers
(5) 1/2 bag of Shin instant noodles split with husband
(6) 2 pieces of pomelo and 1 persimmon
That is nearly 2900 calories worth of food. I should only be eating around 1,800 worth of calories according to my height. I am only five feet tall.
I wished that I took after my mom’s side of the family when it comes to food. None of them care too much for it and it shows in their weight. My mom at 5’4 and 120 pounds is the fattest one in her family of 7. Instead, I take after my dad and his relatives. My dad who is a vegetarian but still reads food blogs, restaurant reviews, and recipes for non-vegetarian dishes. My paternal grandmother who died because she ate so much fatty foods during her life time that her arteries and veins were completely clogged up.
It doesn’t help that my husband does not encourage me to eat healthier. As much as I try to banish potato chips, chocolate, cake, ice-cream, and what not, he wears down my resistance by asking for those items ALL the time. On top of it he loves to eat out always craving a different variety of food items.
But I want to be healthier and have more energy. I want to only eat enough at every meal so that I am only 75% full. I do not want to overwork my internal organs. This does not mean that I will give up good tasting food or unhealthy foods. Rather I hope to eat 1 healthy meal a day and 1 unhealthy meal a day. And F*** breakfast. I know many say that eating breakfast will cause you to eat less foods later on in the day but that does not work for everyone and especially not me. I am not even hungry in the first three hours of waking up. And the year that I ate breakfast every day even though I wasn’t hungry caused me to gain 6 pounds which then took me nearly 3 years to lose it.